sex – Sat In Your Lap

The Seven Year Itch (1955)

SEX! Now That I Have Your Attention, Read My Review

***This Review Contains Spoilers***

The Seven Year Itch is often dismissed as a lesser Billy Wilder effort yet the film is far more than just the iconic image of Marilyn Monroe’s skirt blowing up over a subway (an image which doesn’t even appear in the film). There’s always an ongoing debate over just how talented certain stars are who were better known for their status as icons rather than their acting ability (Greta Garbo, John Wayne, Arnold Schwarzenegger and yes, Marilyn Monroe). The Seven Year Itch is the ideal showcase for how gifted a comedienne Monroe was while also having the allure of the likes of Harlow or Garbo.

The Seven Year Itch is surely the most entertaining on-screen representation of repressed sexual urges. I’m sure many men can relate to Richard Sherman (Tom Ewell) regardless of their age and the male fantasy of being alone with Marilyn Monroe. In one scene the movie displays a classic case of expectation vs reality in which Sherman imagines a melodramatic scene in which himself and a sultry Monroe wearing a tiger dress play classical music on a piano. This is soon followed by reality in which the two un-romantically play chopsticks on the piano.

Tom Ewell spends much of the film interacting with himself. His self monologuing is entertaining listening and helps carry the film in a part which could come off as creepy but Ewell avoids it from doing so – Ewell is charismatically dull if that makes sense. It’s a shame Ewell never had more notable roles, he would have fit right at home in comedies which would have starred the likes Jack Lemmon or Walter Matthau (of whom originally screen-tested for Ewell’s role).

Movies like this with a summery feel are great viewing any time of the year, to go along with the summer mood or the enlighten the dull winter, especially with the sultry music score courtesy of Alfred Newman. The Seven Year Itch also sees the advent of the intricate title sequence (by none other than Saul Bass), a step up from a stationary title of the movie and a list of cast names which had been seen in cinema up until that point. There is even a scene early in the film in which Sherman goes to a vegetarian restaurant, orders soy food and a waitress rants about how “if there was no clothes there would be no sickness and no war” – crazy leftists circa 1955.

The Seven Year Itch was limited by the Hays Code yet it’s still interesting to see how far they could go within these confines with lines such as “when it’s hot like this I keep my undies in the icebox”. At the end of the day you can censor and restrict all you want but you can’t stop someone from exuding natural sexuality. I’m sure moralists were outraged at the time yet the story is about a man overcoming his adulterous urges, avoiding temptation and remaining faithful to his wife, refusing to become a summer bachelor while his wife and son are away for the season.

Ball of Fire (1941)

The Kind of Woman Who Makes Entire Civilisations Topple

Ball of Fire is the more grown up, risqué version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs; even during the opening scene the film’s cast of professors are seen walking in tandem through Central Park like the seven dwarfs as they adhere to a strict daily seclude in an attempt to compile an encyclopaedia of all human knowledge. The film plays off the public perception of bureaucrats, bankers, librarians and people in other such mundane professions. Are they such sheltered, socially awkward individuals who are in bed at 9 every night and have likely never been in a relationship? The recurring Howard Hawks’ theme of male bonding is ever present in Ball of Fire, although here it is all the more goofy with a cast of characters playing nerds. Regardless there still remains one very poignant scene in which Professor Oddly (the only bachelor of the group) recounts about his past wife and the men start singing.

There are few other character entrances in film more entertaining than that of Barbara Stanwyck as Sugarpuss O’Shea (a not so innocent name by today’s standard) as she enters the picture singing and dancing with Gene Krupa and his orchestra – could the character’s fast-living personality be summed up in a more entertaining manner? Likewise, that dress! No wonder Edith Head had decades working in the industry. Notice it’s nonstop sparkling every moment it’s on screen, making Stanwyck look all the more tantalising. Almost all the outfits worn by Stanwyck in Ball of Fire are clearly designed to make her look as sexually appealing as possible. When Professor “Potsy” Potts (Gary Cooper) and Sugarpuss are alone, the sexual sparks fly and when she holds up a leg she gives a group of socially awkward, sheltered middle-aged to old men a sexual awakening. It’s all the more poignant that the man she seduces is played a Gary Cooper; a contrast to his boy scouty screen image. Here Cooper is a nerd, and while he did play tough guys on screen, he will always be that boy next door. Ball of Fire is full of lines and moments which wouldn’t feel out of place in a film made before the production code. At the beginning of the film, we even see Professor Potts arousing the funder of the encyclopaedia project by merely talking to her in an attempt to convince her to keep the project running.

Ball of Fire is worth watching multiple times for all the lines you can easily miss out on. For example, when a garbage man (Allen Jenkins) comes into the house to ask the men for assistance on radio quiz, one of the questions regards the correct way to state a mathematical problem: “2 and 2 is 5, 2 and 2 are 5, 2 or 2 makes 5”. Cooper states the correct answer is “2 and 2 are 5” however the mathematician of the group then states “2 and 2 are 4” followed by the garbage man responding, “that’s a good one, nobody’s gonna get that”. Am I detecting a sneaky Orwellian statement pre-1984?

Jewel Robbery (1932)

Pre-Code Jewel

***This Review Contains Spoilers***

I remember people criticizing The Wolf of Wall Street as immoral, then I’d love to see their reaction to this 83-year-old gem.

Kay Francis has one of my favourite character introductions ever, as an army of servants march to pamper her after getting up in the afternoon, lying in a bathtub, briefing showing off one leg shot up in the air then being pampered like a goddess ahead of her day of leisure. Jewel Robbery’s display of wealth would be explicit for any era, never mind the great depression. Francis’ reaction to being handed a box of jewels from Powell makes Lorelei Lee of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes look like less of a gold digger. Yes, these are shallow, superficial characters who never get punished for their actions, but that’s ok, only classic Hollywood actors could pull this off, making us enjoy rooting for characters like this. Although Francis’ character is at least self-aware of this, in one pivotal scene stating that she is shallow and weak as she leads a shallow and weak life and with a little courage she could run away from it.

William Powell is the coolest criminal ever; you would enjoy being held in a stick up by this guy. This being pre-code, a criminal is the hero of the story who deceives dim-witted guards. His methods of robbery, differentiating from what he calls “the stick ‘em up and shoot ‘em down school, no mess, no confusion” is so fascinating. Would his methods work in real life or is this just movie fantasy? He even gives his victims marijuana to calm them down. This movie waves the whole gauntlet of sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll. Ok, there’s no rock ‘n’ roll but there’s sex and drugs. The jewel robbery itself is so snappy and fast-paced. It takes up a large portion of the film (which at one point made me wonder if the film would be a sort of high-class version of Dog Day Afternoon) and it’s over in a jiffy.

Jewel Robbery is one of the most erotic and sexist films I’ve ever seen. Many of the scenes and dialogues are provoking in some way from Kay Francis wearing dress looks like it’s about to fall of her and exposes her backside to William Powell wrapping his arms around Francis to grab a ring of her finger; this is what you call a titillating movie. I also love Kay Francis and her girlfriend’s excited reaction to discovering a man infiltrated their house. Plus has there ever existed an actual dwelling that has an interior similar to that of William Powell’s hideout? If I ever win the lottery I am going to hand a copy of this movie to an interior decorator. Also, the newspaper which appears near the beginning of the movie is called “Weiner Journal”.